Wisdom
… and sage advice.
I work out at a great local gym, where there are adult and youth classes for all ages and abilities. Seeing as I spend a good bit of time there, the staff was recently kind enough to post a flier promoting a support group I was going to run for women in midlife.
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A few days later, one of the older members, near 70 if I recall, asked me about it. We got to talking (her and I chat often), and I asked her what advice she would give to women going through the Midlife Transitions, where there are so many biological and situational factors that can make the passage often feel less than smooth. What she told me was that it was “important to focus on gratitude, pursue creative outlets, and spend time with a good group of friends”. Which, of course, is great advice for anyone at almost any stage of life.
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So many of us have what we as therapists call “negativity bias”, which is actually a survival instinct baked into the way we think and see the world. It is a sharp and primary focus on what is wrong, lacking, or negative, rather than an awareness of what is going well, present, or positive. And I’ll be the first to admit that I often fall hard and fast into the trap of the negativity bias. In terms of creativity, many people have said to me over the years, “I am not creative”. But I have never bought this narrative for anyone. We are all inherently creative in some way, and I believe that it’s a skill set that culture drills out of us early. So many adults claim to not have time for it, which may to some extent be true, but I think begs to be measured against the relentless pace and expectation of modern-day life. Similarly, when it comes to making time for friends and connections, it can just so easily fall through the cracks. But I challenge anyone to spend time with a good group of friends and not come away feeling like your cup has been poured into quite a bit.
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Her advice motivated me and challenged me. I got out my gratitude journal, and put it back in the rotation of small, meaningful rituals that are part of my morning routine. I reached out to several friends, and made sure to have some fun things in the calendar with them. And for the first time in a while, I took out my camera. Not because someone hired me to do it, but because I have been creatively constipated and uninspired.
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When I hear something, read something, or discover something, it’s a natural instinct to want to share it. So here is my reminder, passed down to me recently from a wise woman who knows some things about some things;
“Focus on gratitude. Pursue creative outlets. Spend time with a good group of friends.”
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Here are a few snaps of recent creative play with my camera. Have a great rest of your week. And as always, thanks for following along.
xoxo,
Gina
+++ Gina D. Graham, LCSW is a therapist and women’s portrait photographer based outside of Chicago, IL and often hanging out in Charleston, SC. For more info about her work, you can visit www.lifelensandlove.com