Ritual.
I deeply love travel. There’s something that happens when I leave the zip code. The version of myself that shows up is open, excited, curious, creative, and inspired. She also, however, is the version of me that stays up late, lingers over extra lattes, has a few more glasses of wine, loves on foods that don’t always love me back, and goes where the wind blows.
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While my heart thrives with travel, my system thrives with routine. I believe that we all do. It’s a nod to our inclusion in the world order, which is in fact, highly ordered; timetables, seasons, and rhythms.
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When my therapy clients come to see me with anxiety or depression, the first thing we do is try to get the system up and running like a system; sleep, food, social time, movement. Sure, modern life just seems built for reactivity, stress and speed. But we cannot feel well or healthy for long when we are running on too much caffeine, not enough sleep, extra dense or rich foods, and a chaotic, heater-skelter way of being.
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Last week I enjoyed a road trip to see family, followed immediately by a flight to see more family and friends that feel like family. And while my heart was full when the plane touched down back in Chicago, I felt tired, wired, and ready to rest and reset.
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This week, I will get back to my habits around taking good care of myself and my health. But I don’t actually call them “habits”. I call them “rituals”. By defining them thus, I give them the reverence I feel they deserve. Rituals ground us. Rituals remind us of the sanctity of our lives. Rituals anchor us in what is often a chaotic day, in a chaotic season, in a chaotic world. Do you have rituals that ground you in your life? I swear by mine. Which I am happy to share here. Looking forward to diving back into them this week.
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My morning routine; yes, it happens early, and yes, I set an alarm if I need to. There is something about starting each day in the quiet of my house, allowing my nervous system to settle into the day before having to race about. It often includes lighting a candle, brain dump journaling, looking calmly at my day and week ahead, a gratitude journal, a little prayer, and savoring my coffee. This is my number one ritual I swear by. Days when I don’t do it just feel “off”.
Movement; movement for me has become like a holy ritual. Whether it’s morning dog walks, a yoga class, or my time at the gym, I protect it and plan for it. I think it’s my number one mental health anchor, and each chance I get to move, I remind myself how grateful I am to have a strong and healthy body.
Salt baths; in a perfect world, this would happen every night, in a very specific way, which would be; early, by candlelight, and a no phone zone. The truth is that there are weeks when I don’t get them in. There are nights I am doom scrolling while soaking, and there are nights when I just don’t settle in to the moment as much as I would like to. But the intention is there, and it’s a beautiful evening wind-down ritual when it hits.
Sabbath; rest, creativity, and joy. Many religious traditions have a “Sabbath”, which is time set aside to not work. For most of us modern humans, an entire day away from email, kids, sports, life, and hustling isn’t realistic. But an hour or two here and there might be. I aim each week, usually on Friday afternoons, to have a little time to only do what feels good and right, not what feels like a “should”. Some weeks it just doesn’t fit. But when it does, it feels like a little pocket of time that really recharges my creative, physical and social battery. Like everything else that’s important, it goes into the calendar ahead of time. I have found that if it’s not scheduled and protected, it just won’t happen. And over the years, it’s something that I’ve noticed I deeply need in order to feel like the version of myself that I want to be.
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Whether you find yourself in a well-oiled groove, or like me, you know you have become a bit off kilter, wishing you a week and month ahead full of grounding, holy rituals that honor you and the life you are building. I hope my little list is helpful. Thanks, as always, for following along.
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Xoxo,
Gina
Gina D. Graham, LCSW is a Clinical Social Worker and a Women’s Portrait Photographer in the Western Suburbs of Chicago. Gina is also the author of a book called Body Beautiful; How Changing the Conversation About Our Bodies Has the Power to Change the World. For more info about Gina and her work, go to lifelensandlove.com