Romance…
I am an utter and hopeless romantic. I used to think that this was something that I needed to grow out of; an immature impulse that doesn’t apply to grown-up life. But now I know it to be an intrinsic way that I see the world. I have come to accept that the thread of Romanticism is baked into my very existence and personality. I am in Enneagram Four and a Leo, which, if you happen to follow any “woo”, makes perfect sense. For many, those whom are the logical, common-sensical, and rational types, these stirrings may just hit different, or not even mean that much at all. Which is totally fine! But for anyone else who relates and also yearns for romance, please read on…..
…
…
I was recently sidelined by a little knee trouble, and “Doctor’s orders” have been to take it easy. Sit down. Rest a bit. Which isn’t easy for me. So, I’ve been attempting to pursue quiet things, mostly in a seated position, in order to allow myself to heal. Part of getting on board with this program {I was pretty moody for the first week or two} has been committing to bingeing the entire series of Outlander on Netflix. For those of you that don’t know it, it’s a historical drama, sweeping in scope and fantasy. And yes, it’s full of romance.
…
…
It got me thinking about this word. This genre. What does it mean? Why do I feel so strongly about living a romantic life? And what about the partnership aspect of romance? Sure, being newly in love is romantic, but most long-term couples (and isn’t that the goal of coupledom?) would agree that past a certain point, “romance” changes. I’ve come to learn that expecting romance in partnerships can sometimes create a pressure that isn’t fair. It can be a personal projection that leads to expectations that leads to let downs from said expectations. Which isn’t, in fact, mature or healthy.
…
…
Which brings me back to “romance”, but maybe on a more personal level.
…
…
I believe the world itself is inherently romantic. The color of the sun as it crests the horizon. The way it paints things in a certain light. The flight of birds. The sound of the breeze on a summer day.
…
…
I also believe that women can live their own lives of romance in a highly embodied way, or in a way of moving through the world. Almost like forever being on a treasure hunt for beauty and novelty, sensations and experiences. For me, this might mean buying myself fresh flowers to put on my counter in the kitchen. I’ll watch them bloom, wither and fade for days, each stage beautiful in its own way. I think of wearing perfume. Something about scents makes me deeply nostalgic. While I have never nailed the art of a “signature scent” (I’m too wired for novelty), I admire those who can cast a spell or a memory by the sheer magic of a familiar fragrance. “Romance” for me often comes in the form of poetry and song lyrics. Or having windswept hair. I like wearing things that feel beautiful. Not because I’m looking for attention of any particular kind, but because of how I feel in my own skin. For an all-time high? I think of travel, good wine, and a deeply compelling and rich conversation.
…
…
When we take ownership of it, romance can be something we no longer wait around for, to happen to us. It’s always there. For the taking. Should you want it or need it.
…
…
Wishing you a windswept rest of your week and weekend, if that’s your thing. I’ll just be over here watching Outlander. And rooting for Claire and Jaime to live on forever and ever in whatever century life finds them in! Thanks for following along!
…
…
Xoxo,
Gina
Gina D. Graham, LCSW is a therapist and women’s portrait photographer outside of Chicago in the Western Suburbs. Gina loves to tell stories of strong, beautiful, resilient girls and women, with her lens, her words, and in her work. For more info, go to lifelensandlove.com
+++ all images rights of @lifelensandlove photography