The Current Cultural Standard of Beauty
Last night I had the Golden Globes on. Not because I had a horse in the race, although I feel like movies are having a bit of a resurgent moment as a genre with something to say. In recent years, it has seemed like the entertainment industry has been all about slick, cheap goods. For this reason and more, I haven’t tuned in for an awards show in years, but I was making Ricotta Spinach Bolognese and figured why not have it on? I was curious to hear Nikki Glaser’s monologue. She’s pretty outrageous and I was curious to see how far she would go. But also, I’ve kind of been watching the women of Hollywood for a little minute. Have you too noticed the extreme and seemingly overnight changes that some of them are undergoing? As expected, Nikki herself cracked an early joke about this, and has been incredibly generous in her truth about how much works she’s having done now that she is famous. While I was making dinner for myself and my family, the irony was not lost on me; no one in Hollywood these days seems like they would be caught dead eating Ricotta Spinach Bolognese.
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Now before you think I’m being judgmental, let me say a few things. I too am a woman in this culture who participates. I went to the gym this morning in the hopes of building strength and feeling energized and fit. Later this week I am seeing a dermatologist about a laser to help remove some dark spots due to sun damage over all the years. Last night I slathered retinol on my face. I recently got the grays dyed out of my hair and bought a new lipstick. Whether it’s in the water or in our nature, I believe that most women want to feel beautiful, vibrant, glowing, and youthful as we age. And I am no different. And I do understand and defend the rights of women to make choices all along a spectrum of what this means for them. From their reasoning to the amount in their pocketbooks, everyone has a different take on this, and I’m an advocate for choices. But there’s a deeper reason why I found the rampant display of extreme weight loss and cosmetic procedures on full display last night so disheartening.
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For over 20 years, I have been a Clinical Social Worker with a specialization working with Eating Disorders, self-esteem, body image, and mood disorders. At this point in my career, I have literally lost count of how many girls and women over these decades I have sat with who felt ugly, self-loathing, less than, depressed, anxious, and have even gone to extreme dangerous and self-injurious behaviors (back in the day, I was one of those girls who felt that way at times). Let me be clear; the culture of beauty for women does not cause eating disorders. But the culture of beauty for girls and women, without a doubt, significantly impacts each and every one of us. For many, the tone and standards that are set can take direct aim at our ongoing and deepest sense of self-worth.
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Four years ago I was in the midst of writing a book about the culture and standard of beauty and perfection for girls and women. While I haven’t really talked about or promoted the book in a few years, the contents of it still feel pretty timeless. In the many years I have been in practice, I have talked and written about the phenomenon of “body trends” that date back a few centuries now. What stands out to me most when I think about this issue is how the seeds of change are going to have to be planted by us women first. Do we want a culture that promotes a standard of beauty that is only attainable if you have the ability to have ongoing surgical procedures? Do we want a culture that promotes a level of thinness that is unattainable unless we are doing a combination of things that include, but are not limited to significant nutritional deprivation? When I wrote the book, and even now, I don’t have all the answers. I do know that money is involved. Lots and lots of money. And again, some of that is money I too am happy to spend on the pursuit of aging with vitality, and hopefully a little glow about me. I just can’t help but feel an ongoing sense of sadness. We are not living in a world that is celebrating natural, healthy aging. We are not living in a world that fully promotes wellness, nutrition, self-care, strength, and wisdom as we age. Are we getting there? Will we get there? I honestly don’t know. For a while I had hoped maybe we were. Now I’m not so sure.
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On my end? I’ll keep going to the gym. I’ll wear that new lipstick. But I’ll also keep showing up in this work, hoping to help girls and women figure out how to live in this culture and also, love the body they are living in. I’ll keep showing up behind the lens, hoping to photograph real girls and real women. Not AI. Not airbrushed. Honest. Natural. Graceful. Real beauty. I hope you’ll stay tuned and join me. By the way, in case anyone hasn’t told you recently, you are beautiful just the way you’re made.
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Gina D. Graham is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Women’s Portrait Photographer in the Chicago and Western Suburbs. In both her therapy practice, as well as behind the lens, Gina aims to empower girls and women to embrace their natural and true inner and outer beauty, and to go through life in the spirit of empowerment, service, and awe. For more info about Gina, click HERE.